Tag Archives: humble attitude

Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 7)

Titus 2:5 goes on to say, “…obedient to their own husbands…”  Let’s go into more depth in this post.  I don’t think this can be taught on too much as women do have a tendency (sinful tendency, I will add) to NOT be submissive or obedient to their own husbands.

Let’s go back nearly 6000 years ago.  God created Adam and Eve.  Everything was going great and things were absolutely perfect!  Eve was perfectly submitted to her husband and Adam loved his wife perfectly.  After Eve partook of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil she gave to Adam.  Adam partook of the fruit and mankind fell from perfection into sin (this is called original sin).  God came down to the earth to fellowship with Adam and Eve as He did every evening but they were in hiding.  He called out to them and they came out from hiding.  Interestingly enough, they had made themselves clothes of leaves because they were ashamed at their nakedness.  When God began questioning them about why this was then the truth came out (and more than the truth because they began blameshifting).

First, Adam blamed God and Eve.  After all, if God hadn’t created Eve then he wouldn’t be in the mess, would he?  It was also Eve that gave him the fruit to eat.  Next, God turned to Eve and asked her about her part in it.  Well, it wasn’t her fault, it was the serpent’s fault.  He tempted her and she ate of the fruit.   After that, God cursed the serpent then turned to Eve.  Notice that it wasn’t just Eve that was cursed but it was all of women kind!  Fastforward to today and we see the results of the curse today within each of our lives.  Women feel they HAVE to have the last say, they have to have things done their way.  Look at all the ads and movies on tv and see how they make anyone within the family, with a position of authority, look stupid.  The children treat the parents horrible and everyone laughs about it.  The wife lacks any kind of respect for her husband, makes him look like a fool and everyone laughs about that, as well.

Genesis 3:16 “To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

Notice the curse and all that is entailed.  God will greatly multiply our sorrow and our conception of children would be fraught with pain.  Notice also that the husband would rule over us!  In many cases, there are husbands that either try to rule with a heavy hand or a husband that refuses to rule at all.  Both of those cases are not proper in God’s eyes, but let’s keep to our subject at hand (obedient to their own husbands) not what our husbands have to deal with.

Part of the husband ruling us goes with the whole idea of us having to submit!  I’ll be honest with you, submission is not my forte as it isn’t for any woman.  We have to work hard to submit and obey our husbands.  Just when we think we have it down, we end up having a disagreement with our husbands because he’s said or done something that we don’t like or don’t want to do.  The Lord has to constantly remind us what our responsibilities are.

Here is the meaning of obedience – to subordinate; reflexively, to obey:–be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.  Here are some things that the Bible says will happen when we are submitted to our husbands (we will be submitted to the Lord when we are submitting properly to our husbands).

1 Peter 3:1-4“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.   Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

This is very important because whether our husbands are saved or not obedience to our husband is commanded by God.  The first two verses tells how you can win your husband without having to beat them over the head with the Bible.  I know most women don’t believe it can happen and yet I have seen it put into practice within my own life and I know it DOES work.  The only problem comes in when women begin nagging their husband into doing what they (the wife) wants done.  This is definitely NOT God’s way.

I have had many women ask me how to get their husbands to do what is right.  When I’ve taken them to 1 Peter 3:1-4 their comments are, “Well, I know what the Bible says but it doesn’t work, I’ve tried it!”  I decided to pay attention to their manners towards their husbands to see if they were REALLY doing it like they said.  What I found in their lives was that they treated their husbands like dirt through nagging and hateful comments (just a couple of the many things they did).  When I shared with them what they were doing that was wrong they only made excuses for their behaviour.  Ladies, we are supposed to be submissive AND obedient to our husbands.  Although, I put these two as separate, according to God’s Word they are interchangeable and mean the same thing.

We have two scenarios here.  First, there is an unsaved husband and a saved wife.  Now, as the unsaved husband observes the conduct of the saved wife, he sees that she has something different within her life.  Most times, all he wants to do is persecute the saved wife because her life convicts his heart and he doesn’t want to hear or to know.  If the wife is practicing true submission, love and respect towards her unsaved husband then eventually, he will turn to the Lord.  If you notice the third and fourth verse of 1 Peter 3, you will see what kind of attitude and spirit the saved wife has.  She has a gentle and quiet spirit.

The word gentle is meek in the KJV and this is what it means: mild, i.e. (by implication) humble:–meek.  If the wife has a gentle spirit, a humble spirit, a meek spirit towards her husband then there will not be any power struggles.  She will humbly submit herself to the husband and, as long as it doesn’t go contrary to God’s Word, she will be willing to humbly obey him and desire what is best for her own huband and do it in accordance to God’s will.

The word quiet means: properly, keeping one’s seat (sedentary), i.e. (by implication) still (undisturbed, undisturbing):–peaceable, quiet.   We see that the wife is not only gentle, willing to humbly obey her own husband, but we see that she will be undisturbed, peaceable and quiet.  This is one humble lady that even when things seem to be falling apart and her husband doesn’t want to follow God’s path, she is still waiting on God.  She’s not falling apart, snapping at her husband, frustrated because she’s not getting her way and so continues nagging her husband because, “he won’t do it if I don’t nag him.”  Ladies, many times the husbands get so tired of being nagged that they mentally block out what the wife is saying.  This is wrong and sin before God.

Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

Proverbs 21:19 says, “Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.”

Proverbs 27:15-16 says, “A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand.”

The second scenario is similar but deals with a saved husband and a saved wife.  The saved husband maybe is not doing things that are right according to God’s Word and the saved wife is.  The responsibility of the saved wife is still to continue on with a gentle and quiet spirit (meekness, humbleness, willingness to subject herself to her husband, respect him, obey him, she is  undisturbed, peaceable and quiet.)   I have seen things happen within our household that I never thought would be possible.  This does not mean that I always did what I should have done but it does mean that the desire to do what God wants done, the willingness to obey and do things God’s way is a necessity.


Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 3)

Now that we set forth in a previous blog the difference between legalism and spiritual discipline there should be an understanding that these things are NOT legalistic if they are done properly. If you do these things because you love God and want to please Him (If you love Me, keep My commandments) then you are using spiritual discipline and this is pleasing to God.

In the previous blog of Part 2, the Bible gave us a list of things that older women are supposed to be teaching younger women and I would like to look at that. There is also Part 1 of the Older Women series that if you haven’t read would be very good to read as it sets the background.

The first thing we want to look at is LOVE YOUR HUSBAND! OUCH! This can be very difficult and confusing! We hear, from the world, that you should love and take care of NUMBER 1 (yourself) and then you’ll be able to take care of others. Our example (our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ) showed forth a different attitude then the worldly one. We should be following His example and He came to this earth to minister to others and not to be ministered to. This is so contrary to our culture and the attitude even of most Christians. “I’m not your servant!” is the response of most people when asked to do something. Let’s all be honest and admit that we have all done this at one time or another especially when we feel it is demeaning to our pride!

Philippians 2:3-4 gives us this clue, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” This is called “loving others as yourself.”

Ok, now that we’ve established the responsibility of being a servant to others, let us now look at how that affects our attitudes towards our OWN husband! It is important that every woman realize that your love is directed towards your own husband. That love should NOT be directed at someone else’s husband. It’s not always easy to do because we are such a selfish people and we want our way. The responsibility of a wife is very important and there are some verses that talk about wives. Sometimes it can be so difficult because our feelings get in the way but we MUST remember that feelings or no we should be doing what is right IN GOD’S EYES no matter what! This means if your husband irritates you, don’t respond in anger and hatred towards him, respond with a loving attitude towards him.

I can’t do that! you might be thinking in your mind. He irritates me ALL the time! You CAN do that because you are the one that has to respond in one way or another! Respond with a loving attitude even if you are feeling out of sorts with your husband. It is very important to remember that how you respond is very important. It’s easier to ask the Lord (quietly) to forgive you for an attitude and there is less hurt involved but if you respond in an angry fashion towards your husband then the hurt stays with him for quite a while.

The loving your husband part comes in when you spend time praying for him, seeing to his needs, helping him out in any way possible, and showing forth a quiet and gentle heart! (1Peter 3:4).

Maybe you are concerned because you don’t have a saved husband and your home is filled with arguing and fighting constantly. 1 Peter 3:1-4 is clear on this issue that, if a wife has an unsaved husband, she can by her very life win him to the Lord.

That is not possible, you might be thinking. According to God’s Word it is very possible. Let’s read what 1 Peter says, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

How in the world can I have a gentle and quiet spirit with MY husband? you may be wondering at this point. A gentle and quiet spirit comes from spending time with the Lord! Isn’t it amazing that everything we are commanded to do reminds us that we need to be spending time with the Lord? When you spend time with the Lord and build a proper relationship with Him then your relationship with everyone else will be right or you will make sure you seek forgiveness for what you have done wrong! There will be much time spent seeking the Lord’s forgiveness for ATTITUDES! What is in the heart will come out in the actions. If your heart is not right before the Lord then the actions will show what the attitude is to those around you.

If everything is based on your attitude it then becomes very important to make sure that you continually work on your attitude no matter what happens!

We will look at loving your children in Part 4 of Older Women Teaching Younger Women. Until then, let’s work on our attitudes towards the Lord and towards our husbands.

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