Category Archives: Older Women Teaching Younger Women

Ten Reasons!

I haven’t completely finished the series from Titus 2 but I wanted to share something else from the perspective of an 18 year old.  So many times, we are more concerned about what we can get out of life instead of submitting to the Lord’s will and following the path He has set before us.  The Bible is our blueprint for life and Titus 2 shares what is necessary for us as Christian women to be successful in God’s eyes.  I would ask that as you read the post that you would be open to the Lord’s leading in your own heart and understanding!  The daughter of Pastor Voddie Baucham has her own blog (her name is Jasmine) and has shared from her heart “Ten Reasons Why I don’t Want to be VP when I ‘Grow Up.'” I was reading Berean Wife’s Blog on “Palin and Feminism” and happened to see the link for Jasmine’s blog. The post by Jasmine was thorough and well thought out! This gives a clear understanding as to why it’s so important for us as Christian women to put our husband’s and family first!

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Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 5)

The next area we need to look at in older women teaching younger women deals with our attitudes and actions in general.  Titus goes on to say in verse 5, “to be discreet, chaste…”

What is discreet?  In looking at the meaning of the word, there are several different meanings so close together as to mean something similar and yet slightly different (as is with many words in the Bible).  I think this is really going to hit home with a lot of us!  The meaning: safe (sound) in mind, i.e. self-controlled (moderate as to opinion or passion):–discreet, sober, temperate.

This hits hard with the emotional state of women.  How many times have we been self-controlled as to our opinions and/or passions?  When someone has wronged our husbands or our children, how many times have we gotten angry because of that?  Are we willing to look past the mother instinct of hurting someone back because they hurt the one/s we love?  I have to be honest that there have been many times where I have gotten upset (and responded in an unChristlike manner) because someone has said or done something to my husband.  Is this right?  Absolutely NOT!  As the saying goes, “Two wrongs never make a right!”  If my position is right but my disposition is wrong then I am wrong!  This has probably been directed specifically at women because we have a tendency to overreact.

These other two things also hit us as we have a hard time being temperate and sober over things.  It’s much easier to go on binges whether they be food binges, shopping binges, or any other kind of binges that might be in our lives.  It is important that we ask the Lord to help us in these areas so that we can be temperate, sober-minded and moderate in our passions and opinions.

Chaste is the next word and the meaning is: properly, clean, i.e. (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect:–chaste, clean, pure.  How many times have I heard from women (even pastor’s wives) that it is ok to read books that are not clean and pure because we have to “wind down sometime or other!”  Ladies, it is NOT ok to read books unclean and impure books.  The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4:23 to “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”  Nowhere are we commanded to let our minds go!  This teaching comes from the evil one because we are supposed to keep ourselves pure and clean at ALL times!  The new age movement (including yoga) teaches that you should let your mind go and envision a nice area like woods or a lake or something like that.  When we let go of our minds then the evil one and his minions (it would be more like his minions for us) have a heyday with our minds.  Before you know it, the things we thought we had control over spring back to life and we are having to deal with those sins once again!

When we are seeking to keep our minds pure, keeping our passions and opinions moderate (according to God’s word not our preferences) then we will see that our lives are chaste and discreet in the areas that we should be.  This might mean finding godly books to read (yes, you can read your husband’s theological books and it would help you immensely, believe it or not), a godly woman that is willing to disciple you, someone you can be accountable to in areas of your life where you are in desperate need of help, prayer time, meditation of scripture, reading your Bible, and seeking godly counsel where and when you need it.  Ladies, let’s be chaste and discreet in our everyday living!

Teaching Younger Women To Love Their Children (Part 4)

In the previous blogs, we’ve gone through several different things that older women should be teaching younger women. We’ve covered areas that older women should be concerned about within their own lives and seeking to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. We’ve covered the difference between legalism and spiritual discipline. If you haven’t read that then it is important to do so because so many people have a concern that doing or saying anything is legalism. The Bible is very clear about legalism and true spiritual discipline. We’ve also covered the importance of wives loving their husbands. We must realize that loving our husbands (outside of loving God first) is our first area of ministry. If we are helping friends and doing things for others to the exclusion of our husbands then we are in SIN. There is no other way to look at it as our husband is our first and foremost ministry in all of life!

The second area of ministry is to our children. Not only are we responsible for loving our husbands (as well as being in submission to them) but we are responsible for loving our children. Our children are our second most important ministry in life. If people in the world are more important to you then your children, once again you would be in a position of sin because your priorities are wrong! Now, this doesn’t mean that we let them do whatever it is they want to do. God gave your children to you for a specific purpose and that is to teach and train them! When they are first born they are little heathens that have no knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ and it is YOUR responsibility to teach them what the Bible says daily. Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19; Psalm 78:4-6; Ephesians 6:4 are all very good verses to read on raising children. I want to look at Deut. 6:7 and 11:19 because these two verses tell us when to do it.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up…You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

God\'s way or My way

Whatever you are doing, you should be entwining God’s Word in your life. In so doing, you will entwine God’s Word within your children’s lives! You should be telling your children about God’s commands no matter what happens within your life, whether there is sadness and grief, happiness and joy, the daily grind of things, or just boring old life!

I’ve had many women tell me they love their children and yet they let their children do ANYTHING they want to do. This isn’t true love of the child! This is either laziness on the parents’ part or a lack of understanding true spiritual discipline. Any parent that truly loves their child will make sure that the child has boundaries and doesn’t just do ANYTHING they want to do. There is a need for boundaries in each of our lives and children are no different. In fact, children need and want boundaries deep down in their hearts. The child that has boundaries know the parent cares for them. The child that has NO boundaries doesn’t know if the parent cares or not because there is NO love shown.

So many times people talk about discipline as if that is the worst thing there is in the world. “Oh no!” they emphatically announce. “I would never make my child do anything they don’t want to do. They have their own choice to make and I let them do it.” Children LACK self-discipline so how do they know what they want? It’s time to start teaching your child what no means! Most parents are afraid to tell their children no because the “EXPERTS” say this ruins their self-esteem! Actually, not teaching your children what the word NO means ruins them completely! I also have a couple of posts about self-esteem on my blog and it tells what self-esteem is really about! It is contrary to Scripture and if you want to read it go HERE. When it comes to saying NO to your children it is important that they learn that no means, “Don’t ask again!” If your child hasn’t learned that then you have failed in your responsibility! Our responsibility as parents is to make sure that the ATTITUDE is correct. When the attitude is correct then the behaviour will be correct.

The other responsibility is to teach the children to be SERVANTS to other people. Impossible! you might be thinking to yourself. Make my child a servant is out of the question! I want better things for my children! I want them to be famous and loved by all! Well, if Jesus came to the earth to serve others and not to be served then we MUST follow HIS example. If we are to follow Christ’s example then it is important that we teach our children to follow His example. If you are a true believer in Christ and TRULY love your children then you will want them to grow up to be godly young ladies and godly young men. This means that you MUST teach them to be like Christ and that includes teaching them to be a SERVANT! What better way to do this then to give them chores around the house? What better way to do this then to teach them to serve other people with a joyful heart?

I know several books that cover this subject of training your children from a Biblical point of view and they do an excellent job. Here is a list of them:

Heart of Anger (foreward by John MacArthur) by Lou Priolo.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

Successful Christian Parenting by John MacArthur.

Let us keep in mind that we are ALL supposed to serve others with a joyful heart so let’s do it and love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. Then let’s love our neighbours as ourselves!

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Submissive Slavery

In my previous post on Older Women, I mentioned about serving your husband. It’s really down to being a bondservant to the Lord Jesus Christ. When you are willing to do HIS will above all else then you will find you are free in Christ and can love your husband (and children) the way you should. Listen to what Paul Washer has to say about “Submissive Slavery!”

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Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 3)

Now that we set forth in a previous blog the difference between legalism and spiritual discipline there should be an understanding that these things are NOT legalistic if they are done properly. If you do these things because you love God and want to please Him (If you love Me, keep My commandments) then you are using spiritual discipline and this is pleasing to God.

In the previous blog of Part 2, the Bible gave us a list of things that older women are supposed to be teaching younger women and I would like to look at that. There is also Part 1 of the Older Women series that if you haven’t read would be very good to read as it sets the background.

The first thing we want to look at is LOVE YOUR HUSBAND! OUCH! This can be very difficult and confusing! We hear, from the world, that you should love and take care of NUMBER 1 (yourself) and then you’ll be able to take care of others. Our example (our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ) showed forth a different attitude then the worldly one. We should be following His example and He came to this earth to minister to others and not to be ministered to. This is so contrary to our culture and the attitude even of most Christians. “I’m not your servant!” is the response of most people when asked to do something. Let’s all be honest and admit that we have all done this at one time or another especially when we feel it is demeaning to our pride!

Philippians 2:3-4 gives us this clue, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” This is called “loving others as yourself.”

Ok, now that we’ve established the responsibility of being a servant to others, let us now look at how that affects our attitudes towards our OWN husband! It is important that every woman realize that your love is directed towards your own husband. That love should NOT be directed at someone else’s husband. It’s not always easy to do because we are such a selfish people and we want our way. The responsibility of a wife is very important and there are some verses that talk about wives. Sometimes it can be so difficult because our feelings get in the way but we MUST remember that feelings or no we should be doing what is right IN GOD’S EYES no matter what! This means if your husband irritates you, don’t respond in anger and hatred towards him, respond with a loving attitude towards him.

I can’t do that! you might be thinking in your mind. He irritates me ALL the time! You CAN do that because you are the one that has to respond in one way or another! Respond with a loving attitude even if you are feeling out of sorts with your husband. It is very important to remember that how you respond is very important. It’s easier to ask the Lord (quietly) to forgive you for an attitude and there is less hurt involved but if you respond in an angry fashion towards your husband then the hurt stays with him for quite a while.

The loving your husband part comes in when you spend time praying for him, seeing to his needs, helping him out in any way possible, and showing forth a quiet and gentle heart! (1Peter 3:4).

Maybe you are concerned because you don’t have a saved husband and your home is filled with arguing and fighting constantly. 1 Peter 3:1-4 is clear on this issue that, if a wife has an unsaved husband, she can by her very life win him to the Lord.

That is not possible, you might be thinking. According to God’s Word it is very possible. Let’s read what 1 Peter says, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

How in the world can I have a gentle and quiet spirit with MY husband? you may be wondering at this point. A gentle and quiet spirit comes from spending time with the Lord! Isn’t it amazing that everything we are commanded to do reminds us that we need to be spending time with the Lord? When you spend time with the Lord and build a proper relationship with Him then your relationship with everyone else will be right or you will make sure you seek forgiveness for what you have done wrong! There will be much time spent seeking the Lord’s forgiveness for ATTITUDES! What is in the heart will come out in the actions. If your heart is not right before the Lord then the actions will show what the attitude is to those around you.

If everything is based on your attitude it then becomes very important to make sure that you continually work on your attitude no matter what happens!

We will look at loving your children in Part 4 of Older Women Teaching Younger Women. Until then, let’s work on our attitudes towards the Lord and towards our husbands.

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Legalism versus Spiritual Discipline

Before we go any further on discussing what older women are to teach younger women, we must first establish two issues within our minds.

  1. What exactly is legalism?
  2. What exactly is spiritual discipline?

When we sort these two things out in our mind then we begin to understand what the Lord Jesus Christ meant when He said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments!” John 14:15.

Let’s go to number one. What exactly is legalism? A lot of people in this day and age seem to think that legalism is doing just about anything! If they don’t want to do it, then they decide to cry foul and these are some of the things you might hear either in words or the reaction someone might have toward you.

“You are being legalistic because you told me I HAVE to do something that I don’t want to do!”

“I see you are still living according to the rules of the Bible. This convicts my heart and I don’t want my heart to be convicted of sin. I’m quite happy living the way that I want to live.”

“You live way up there and the rest of us live way down here. We just don’t think this is right because we can’t reach the same level you do.”

I’m sure there are many more comments or reactions that could be placed in here but we will stop right there for now. So what is legalism? Legalism is a ‘list of draconian rules’ or ‘living the letter of the law” that you feel will make God happy with you. If you have a set list of do’s and don’ts that make you feel ‘more spiritual’ then anyone else and the heart attitude does not have to change then you are legalistic. Legalism is self-centred and desires to do things to gain merit with God. Legalism is a heart issue.

On the other hand, spiritual discipline can look quite similar to legalism but not match up with legalism in any way, shape or form! How can that be? How can something be similar but not match up at all? you might wonder. The motivation for spiritual discipline is so completely different that although it might look like legalism, it definitely is NOT legalism!

Spiritual discipline is also a heart issue but the motivation is that you LOVE God and you are willing to please Him no matter what it takes or what others say about you! Spiritual discipline is a relationship with God and NOT a list of do’s and don’ts.

Legalism says, “I have to do these things today otherwise God will be angry at me.”

Spiritual discipline says, “I love God so much that I don’t want to do anything that displeases Him. I want to change and become more like the Lord Jesus Christ!”

Legalism will have the same attitude of desire toward sin. The inner heart will still be in rebellion towards God although the outer life LOOKS like they are serving God. The difference will be when someone, who has true spiritual discipline, will humbly accept rebuke and exhortation. They will desire to change and hate even the smallest sin within their life. The legalistic person will show anger towards those who try to rebuke and exhort them because they feel there is nothing wrong in their life! These are the differences between a legalistic person and someone with spiritual discipline.

Now, when we go over the things that older women should be teaching younger women, let’s keep these two issues firmly in our mind so we know exactly where we stand! Remember, Jesus says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments!” Let’s show forth love and spiritual discipline (in our lives) by keeping the Lord’s commandments because we know it pleases Him. Let’s earnestly “cast off the works of darkness and put on the armour of light.” Romans 13:12. Do these things while it is day and there is still time to serve the Lord!

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Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 2)

In the previous post of “Older Women Teaching Younger Women” we saw 4 things that the older women need to model within their lives but there is more to come!

Next we find that the older women are being told to admonish the younger women. In the KJV, we read, “That they may teach the young women to be sober.” The two words teaching and sober have the exact same Greek word and meaning. The Greek word ‘sophronizo’ means to make of sound mind i.e. (figuratively) to discipline or correct: teach to be sober. It is important that the older women realize that it is a huge responsibility and we must take it seriously. How can we expect younger women to know things if they are not taught? For us to go about our business and ignore the sin in the lives of other true believers is not acceptable in God’s eyes! Gal. 6:1 is very clear on this, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” There is a right way and a wrong way of doing it. We should teach the Word of God in gentleness and with a humble spirit.

So what are the older women supposed to be teaching? Here are 8 things that younger women should be learning from the older women listed in Titus 2:4-5.

  1. To love their husbands.
  2. To love their children.
  3. To be discreet.
  4. To be chaste.
  5. To be homemakers
  6. To be good.
  7. To be obedient to their own husbands.
  8. To make sure their life does not cause the Word of God to be blasphemed.

Whew! What a list. Before anyone starts getting upset over this list of things, go back to Titus 2:4-5 and you will see that this is the list that God provided (through Paul, the apostle).

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