During this time, I actually accomplished telling people off in very unChristlike ways and so I had to go back and apologize quite a few times. Slowly, I realized that the internet and computer took up too much of my time and I needed to be doing something productive. Mark let the pastors in Liberia know that I would be coming along. They were very glad about it because they felt I needed to see Liberia but they also felt it would be good to have a conference for the ladies. I was quite excited (albeit nervous) over the idea. I began studying the Word of God in preparation and saw improvement in my behaviour. Another thing I wanted to do was make something for the pastors’ wives and so began crocheting for them. There were six that I wanted to crochet. I was able to spend time in prayer for each pastor’s wife that I was crocheting for. Since it took me a while to complete, that meant the Lord was working in my heart through the prayer time spent with Him!
One thing I have learned through my reading of missionary stories was that when a person became serious in prayer and they were headed on a mission’s trip, the evil one and his minions didn’t like this. They would fight with all of their power because they knew that person was becoming serious about serving the Lord. This affects what they can do and will keep them from accomplishing their task. What is their task? You might wonder about this so I will answer. Their task is to take as many people to hell with them as possible. Their task is also to keep as many true believers defeated so they can take as many people as possible to hell with them. It’s that simple! When we are living a defeated life and there is no power because we are not praying as we should, the evil one and his demons are gleeful over that. Our power comes through prayer and I am totally convinced that we do NOT spend enough time praying in the western world! If you only pray a few minutes every day, I agree that it’s better to do that then nothing but you will not live a victorious Christian life because we MUST be dependent on the Lord every minute of every day. No matter what you are doing, whether in the workplace, in the home, at church….wherever you are, seek to spend that time wisely. Anyone can pray silently at any point in the day. Ask the Lord to teach you how and when to pray. Make it your goal to keep your heart dependent on the Lord in every situation!
I learned much through this time of prayer. At first, I thought that certain kinds of foods were affecting me because I was constantly going through deep depressions. Once I had this rage come over me, many times I would become very agitated at the children over the least little things. Looking back now, I know it was due to the prayer time but I wasn’t completely positive when I first went through it. One night, I was praying for the one whom I was crocheting for and I had these horrible thoughts and ideas come through my mind. I knew it wasn’t me at that point because I had had my focus on the Lord and this completely surprised me. I begged the Lord to take the thoughts out of my mind so that it would be pure and I could continue praying for those who must need it so badly! The struggle went on for quite a time but eventually eased off. I was perspiring and I knew I was in the target line simply due to the prayer time I was having.
I asked several people to pray for me because I was desperately needing it. There were several responses to my request. Some said they would pray for me and really meant it. Later on when I shared what had happened, one of the people, who promised to pray, said that her and her husband had been praying for us during that time both morning and evening. She said she felt a really strong desire to pray for me one certain night. I told her that I was very thankful for the prayers and it was at that time I was struggling greatly. I know if it wasn’t for those who prayed for me, I would not have made it. I was on the verge of giving up just as I had done many times previously. What a blessing to know that there are others that keep you in prayer during the hardest times and even during the time that you are praying!
Two weeks before we were to leave, my parents came to our house. They would be in charge of the house while Mark and I were gone and they wanted to see us before we took off on our trip. I had so much to do in preparation before we left and my mom pitched right in and began helping with the girls. I was so thankful for this because I knew I wouldn’t have accomplished as much without her. Slowly, slowly the time drew near for us to leave.