Category Archives: Older Women Teaching Younger Women

Voddie Baucham Biblical Womanhood Part 8

“My wife is a highly educated woman who has laid down all her pursuits in order to submit herself to my vision for our family!  My wife does not contradict me in front of others, she shows me that respect and that honour!  My wife communicates to our family and to others the vision that I have established for our family!  My wife has forsaken other opportunities for independent fulfillment and use of her gifts in order to put those gifts in subjection to me, and my vision for our family!” — Voddie Baucham

Voddie Baucham Biblical Womanhood Part 7

“I have the most incredible calling in the world!  There is no higher calling than that of being a wife and a mother.  God has blessed me with this body to bring life into the world and through adoption to bring other children into our home AND through the investment of my life, I have the opportunity to shape world changers!”  — Bridgette Baucham

Voddie Baucham Biblical Womanhood Part 4

“We don’t choose who we fall in love with, it’s bigger than the both of us.  The heart wants what the heart wants!  This is faulty thinking!”  –Voddie Baucham

The Duggar Family

duggar-family

The Duggar family just had their 18th child.  This is an amazing family that believes in procreation just as God commanded.  The verses in Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.   Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

In this article about the Duggar family, there were 5 comments dealing with having so many children. I find it sad that our culture is such that anyone who does something contrary to the “cultural norm” they get castigated!  Our culture will die down if people don’t start having more than “their share” of children.  Children would not be a “pain in the neck” if we taught them according to Scripture.  There is a right and wrong way of raising our children and the wrong way is to be concerned about the child’s self-image.  I have told my children many times that I don’t care about their self-image but I do care about their image in God’s eyes!

On the other side of the coin, there are many ladies who truly desire to have children and cannot do so.  To these ladies I would encourage to look into the possibility of adoption.  Many times those children who have no one are overlooked and unloved.  Remember, Ladies, that we, who are true believers in the Lord, are adopted into God’s family.  James 1:27 tells us, “True religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to keep himself unspotted from the world and to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction.”  What better way to visit the fatherless by taking them into your home and bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?  They need godly, loving  parents just like our natural born children do and even more so because they have no one!

If you go to Adoption 3:16 you will read about families that have adopted and ways they can help to bring you through the hard times based on God’s Word.   Whether you end up with a huge family through natural birth or through adoption remember that the “fruit of the womb is God’s reward!”

Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 8)

“…that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.”  (Titus 2:5) This is the last section of this part of the series and it explains the reason WHY it’s so important to follow the path the Lord has set before us as women.

There are 7 places in the New Testament that speak of blasphemed.  They all mean the same thing which is: to vilify; specially, to speak impiously:–(speak) blaspheme(-er, -mously, -my), defame, rail on, revile, speak evil. It is interesting how this word is used within each of the places.

The first place is in Acts 18:1-6.  Paul has gone to Corinth where he met Priscilla and Acquila.  He spent time making tents but also teaching (or trying to teach) the Jews that Jesus is the Christ.   The Jews opposed and blasphemed so Paul shook his garments and said he was done with the Jews, now he was going to the Gentiles.

The second place is in Rom. 2:17-24.  Here Paul is talking to the Romans about how they teach people and say it’s wrong to do something yet they do it themselves (do as I say not as I do).  In doing this they blaspheme the name of God!

The third place is in 1 Timothy 6:1.  Paul is talking to bondservants that are under the yoke of bondage to count their masters worthy of all honour so that the name of God would not be blasphemed.  It is of utmost importance that the employers are honoured otherwise the name of God is being blasphemed.

The fourth place is in Titus 2:5.  We are addressing this part right now.

The fifth, sixth, and seventh places are in Revelation 16:9,11,21.  I put these three together because they are together in that mankind is being judged and refuses to turn to God.  God pours out His judgment first of all by scorching men with a great heat.  Instead of turning to God, mankind begins blaspheming God.  Next, (verse 11) mankind blasphemes God because of the pain and the sores they have instead of repenting of their evil deeds.  Finally, in verse 21, men blasphemed God because the judgment of hail was very great.

This puts the perspective of not being sober, not loving our husbands, not loving our children, not being discreet, not being chaste, not being keepers at home, not being good and not being obedient to our own husbands in the same category as those who will blaspheme God because of the judgments God will pour out upon them.  This then shows that we are behaving in the same wicked way as those in Revelation 16.  Ladies, how many times have we seen that the heart is what is most important?  For instance, if we hate someone it is the same as murdering them (Mt. 5:21228).  If we lust after someone, it is the same as committing adultery (Mt. 5:27-28) .  Gluttony and drunkeness are listed together that will cause poverty.  Also if you look at the meaning of drunkeness it is the same word that is used to mean: to be loose morally (Proverbs 23:21).  Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, stubborness is as iniquity and idolatry (1 Sam. 15:23) and a lazy person is the same thing as a person who is a great destroyer (Proverbs 18:9).  The Bible shows that the sins of the heart are  just as bad as the actual sins that have been committed.  We are told in Proverbs 4:23 to, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

It is time for us to change according to God’s plan NOT according to what we think we should do.  Ladies, let us not blaspheme the name of God but let’s be willing to make God’s will our will within our lives and within our family’s lives!

Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 7)

Titus 2:5 goes on to say, “…obedient to their own husbands…”  Let’s go into more depth in this post.  I don’t think this can be taught on too much as women do have a tendency (sinful tendency, I will add) to NOT be submissive or obedient to their own husbands.

Let’s go back nearly 6000 years ago.  God created Adam and Eve.  Everything was going great and things were absolutely perfect!  Eve was perfectly submitted to her husband and Adam loved his wife perfectly.  After Eve partook of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil she gave to Adam.  Adam partook of the fruit and mankind fell from perfection into sin (this is called original sin).  God came down to the earth to fellowship with Adam and Eve as He did every evening but they were in hiding.  He called out to them and they came out from hiding.  Interestingly enough, they had made themselves clothes of leaves because they were ashamed at their nakedness.  When God began questioning them about why this was then the truth came out (and more than the truth because they began blameshifting).

First, Adam blamed God and Eve.  After all, if God hadn’t created Eve then he wouldn’t be in the mess, would he?  It was also Eve that gave him the fruit to eat.  Next, God turned to Eve and asked her about her part in it.  Well, it wasn’t her fault, it was the serpent’s fault.  He tempted her and she ate of the fruit.   After that, God cursed the serpent then turned to Eve.  Notice that it wasn’t just Eve that was cursed but it was all of women kind!  Fastforward to today and we see the results of the curse today within each of our lives.  Women feel they HAVE to have the last say, they have to have things done their way.  Look at all the ads and movies on tv and see how they make anyone within the family, with a position of authority, look stupid.  The children treat the parents horrible and everyone laughs about it.  The wife lacks any kind of respect for her husband, makes him look like a fool and everyone laughs about that, as well.

Genesis 3:16 “To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

Notice the curse and all that is entailed.  God will greatly multiply our sorrow and our conception of children would be fraught with pain.  Notice also that the husband would rule over us!  In many cases, there are husbands that either try to rule with a heavy hand or a husband that refuses to rule at all.  Both of those cases are not proper in God’s eyes, but let’s keep to our subject at hand (obedient to their own husbands) not what our husbands have to deal with.

Part of the husband ruling us goes with the whole idea of us having to submit!  I’ll be honest with you, submission is not my forte as it isn’t for any woman.  We have to work hard to submit and obey our husbands.  Just when we think we have it down, we end up having a disagreement with our husbands because he’s said or done something that we don’t like or don’t want to do.  The Lord has to constantly remind us what our responsibilities are.

Here is the meaning of obedience – to subordinate; reflexively, to obey:–be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.  Here are some things that the Bible says will happen when we are submitted to our husbands (we will be submitted to the Lord when we are submitting properly to our husbands).

1 Peter 3:1-4“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.   Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

This is very important because whether our husbands are saved or not obedience to our husband is commanded by God.  The first two verses tells how you can win your husband without having to beat them over the head with the Bible.  I know most women don’t believe it can happen and yet I have seen it put into practice within my own life and I know it DOES work.  The only problem comes in when women begin nagging their husband into doing what they (the wife) wants done.  This is definitely NOT God’s way.

I have had many women ask me how to get their husbands to do what is right.  When I’ve taken them to 1 Peter 3:1-4 their comments are, “Well, I know what the Bible says but it doesn’t work, I’ve tried it!”  I decided to pay attention to their manners towards their husbands to see if they were REALLY doing it like they said.  What I found in their lives was that they treated their husbands like dirt through nagging and hateful comments (just a couple of the many things they did).  When I shared with them what they were doing that was wrong they only made excuses for their behaviour.  Ladies, we are supposed to be submissive AND obedient to our husbands.  Although, I put these two as separate, according to God’s Word they are interchangeable and mean the same thing.

We have two scenarios here.  First, there is an unsaved husband and a saved wife.  Now, as the unsaved husband observes the conduct of the saved wife, he sees that she has something different within her life.  Most times, all he wants to do is persecute the saved wife because her life convicts his heart and he doesn’t want to hear or to know.  If the wife is practicing true submission, love and respect towards her unsaved husband then eventually, he will turn to the Lord.  If you notice the third and fourth verse of 1 Peter 3, you will see what kind of attitude and spirit the saved wife has.  She has a gentle and quiet spirit.

The word gentle is meek in the KJV and this is what it means: mild, i.e. (by implication) humble:–meek.  If the wife has a gentle spirit, a humble spirit, a meek spirit towards her husband then there will not be any power struggles.  She will humbly submit herself to the husband and, as long as it doesn’t go contrary to God’s Word, she will be willing to humbly obey him and desire what is best for her own huband and do it in accordance to God’s will.

The word quiet means: properly, keeping one’s seat (sedentary), i.e. (by implication) still (undisturbed, undisturbing):–peaceable, quiet.   We see that the wife is not only gentle, willing to humbly obey her own husband, but we see that she will be undisturbed, peaceable and quiet.  This is one humble lady that even when things seem to be falling apart and her husband doesn’t want to follow God’s path, she is still waiting on God.  She’s not falling apart, snapping at her husband, frustrated because she’s not getting her way and so continues nagging her husband because, “he won’t do it if I don’t nag him.”  Ladies, many times the husbands get so tired of being nagged that they mentally block out what the wife is saying.  This is wrong and sin before God.

Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

Proverbs 21:19 says, “Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.”

Proverbs 27:15-16 says, “A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand.”

The second scenario is similar but deals with a saved husband and a saved wife.  The saved husband maybe is not doing things that are right according to God’s Word and the saved wife is.  The responsibility of the saved wife is still to continue on with a gentle and quiet spirit (meekness, humbleness, willingness to subject herself to her husband, respect him, obey him, she is  undisturbed, peaceable and quiet.)   I have seen things happen within our household that I never thought would be possible.  This does not mean that I always did what I should have done but it does mean that the desire to do what God wants done, the willingness to obey and do things God’s way is a necessity.

Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 6)

The next part of Titus 2:5 continues on with “…keepers at home, good…”  Now, these are two words that do not say much and yet mean more than we realize.  I looked up the words and found that I had never known what it meant before.  How can we be keepers at home?  Does this mean we need to stay in our homes 24/7 to make sure everything is perfect?  Well, lets continue on and find out!

To be a keeper at home does not necessarily mean that you are at home all the time.  The keeper at home has 3 different areas that she needs to be concerned about.

1. She needs to be a guard. Now a guard does not just sit around and let whatever or whoever pass.  The guard is charged with certain duties and is accountable for those coming in or out of wherever he/she is guarding.  What exactly would the keeper at home be guarding?  There are many things that we need to guard our home against.  We need to guard our home against bad attitudes not only from our children but also from ourselves.  We very easily end up with attitudes towards our husband, our children, other people around us and even circumstances that happen within our lives.

We also need to guard against allowing false teaching to enter into our lives or the lives of our children.  We need to guard against not spending time with the Lord which would include prayer time, Bible reading, studying, meditating on Scripture.  We need to guard against laziness, lack of love, being too busy, selfishness, and many other things that maybe I haven’t mentioned.  Because we are the ones that do most of the training of the children, it is important that we guard ourselves against these things.  It is also very important that we guard our children against these things.  We are supposed to be teaching our children diligently telling them when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up.  (Deut. 6:7; 11:19; Ps. 78:4-6; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21)  Every situation constitutes sharing the Word of God, Biblical principles, and the importance of following Christ!

2.  She needs to be a stayer at home. This doesn’t mean that we stay at home 24/7 but we must be careful that the things outside the home don’t overtake us.  Sometimes we can get so caught up in everything going on that we forget we have a family that needs taking care of.  Shopping may be fun, Ladies, but if it interferes with your responsibilities in the home and it keeps you from being the help-meet to your husband then the shopping needs to be ditched!  We are not here to indulge our flesh but we are called to be a help-meet to our husbands (first and foremost) and then a mother to our children before anything else!

There are some women that are taxi services for their children and therefore spend very little time at home.  Ladies, this is not being a stayer at home.  Our children do NOT need extracurricular activities to be well-rounded in their education.  All you are doing is teaching them that entertainment is more important than following God’s Word.  Beware that you don’t put extracurricular activity before commands of Scripture and therefore make it an idol!  Although, we may not need to be in our homes 24/7 it is still important that we be in our homes and make it a HOME not just a HOUSE.

3.  She needs to be domestically inclined (a good housekeeper). Now, this doesn’t mean that everything within her house is absolutely perfect!  When we were in England, a woman that was extreme in cleaning her house was called ‘house proud’.  I had to ask what it meant when I first heard that said.  To be ‘house proud’ is to mean that that person’s house is absolutely beautiful.  Nothing is out of place and everything looks spotless and perfect!

The only problem is that the family is ignored and the woman of the house has difficulty showing hospitality to anyone else ‘just in case they messed up the house’ or basically gets upset when the children touch anything in the house.  The children are NOT allowed to be children.   This is NOT what I am talking about!  The house should be clean AND liveable!  If you have children then I don’t expect that perfection rules the day (maybe the night but not the day).  I do believe that children need to be taught to clean up after themselves but not to the extent that they are not even allowed to be members within the household.  This doesn’t mean that the house will be clean at all times but the house should be  taken care of as needed.  We need to learn to be domestically inclined AND a good housekeeper!

We need to be good.  This is dealing with good works that we do towards our families and others.  Proverbs 31:11, 12 says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” It is important that we do good toward our husband and seek always his good, not ours!  Is this easy to do?  Absolutely not!  We women are selfish creatures and tend to think that our ideas and ways should always be followed.  When we are willing to be submissive to the Lord we will see a difference in our attitudes toward our husband.

Ten Reasons!

I haven’t completely finished the series from Titus 2 but I wanted to share something else from the perspective of an 18 year old.  So many times, we are more concerned about what we can get out of life instead of submitting to the Lord’s will and following the path He has set before us.  The Bible is our blueprint for life and Titus 2 shares what is necessary for us as Christian women to be successful in God’s eyes.  I would ask that as you read the post that you would be open to the Lord’s leading in your own heart and understanding!  The daughter of Pastor Voddie Baucham has her own blog (her name is Jasmine) and has shared from her heart “Ten Reasons Why I don’t Want to be VP when I ‘Grow Up.’” I was reading Berean Wife’s Blog on “Palin and Feminism” and happened to see the link for Jasmine’s blog. The post by Jasmine was thorough and well thought out! This gives a clear understanding as to why it’s so important for us as Christian women to put our husband’s and family first!

Older Women Teaching Younger Women (Part 5)

The next area we need to look at in older women teaching younger women deals with our attitudes and actions in general.  Titus goes on to say in verse 5, “to be discreet, chaste…”

What is discreet?  In looking at the meaning of the word, there are several different meanings so close together as to mean something similar and yet slightly different (as is with many words in the Bible).  I think this is really going to hit home with a lot of us!  The meaning: safe (sound) in mind, i.e. self-controlled (moderate as to opinion or passion):–discreet, sober, temperate.

This hits hard with the emotional state of women.  How many times have we been self-controlled as to our opinions and/or passions?  When someone has wronged our husbands or our children, how many times have we gotten angry because of that?  Are we willing to look past the mother instinct of hurting someone back because they hurt the one/s we love?  I have to be honest that there have been many times where I have gotten upset (and responded in an unChristlike manner) because someone has said or done something to my husband.  Is this right?  Absolutely NOT!  As the saying goes, “Two wrongs never make a right!”  If my position is right but my disposition is wrong then I am wrong!  This has probably been directed specifically at women because we have a tendency to overreact.

These other two things also hit us as we have a hard time being temperate and sober over things.  It’s much easier to go on binges whether they be food binges, shopping binges, or any other kind of binges that might be in our lives.  It is important that we ask the Lord to help us in these areas so that we can be temperate, sober-minded and moderate in our passions and opinions.

Chaste is the next word and the meaning is: properly, clean, i.e. (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect:–chaste, clean, pure.  How many times have I heard from women (even pastor’s wives) that it is ok to read books that are not clean and pure because we have to “wind down sometime or other!”  Ladies, it is NOT ok to read books unclean and impure books.  The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4:23 to “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”  Nowhere are we commanded to let our minds go!  This teaching comes from the evil one because we are supposed to keep ourselves pure and clean at ALL times!  The new age movement (including yoga) teaches that you should let your mind go and envision a nice area like woods or a lake or something like that.  When we let go of our minds then the evil one and his minions (it would be more like his minions for us) have a heyday with our minds.  Before you know it, the things we thought we had control over spring back to life and we are having to deal with those sins once again!

When we are seeking to keep our minds pure, keeping our passions and opinions moderate (according to God’s word not our preferences) then we will see that our lives are chaste and discreet in the areas that we should be.  This might mean finding godly books to read (yes, you can read your husband’s theological books and it would help you immensely, believe it or not), a godly woman that is willing to disciple you, someone you can be accountable to in areas of your life where you are in desperate need of help, prayer time, meditation of scripture, reading your Bible, and seeking godly counsel where and when you need it.  Ladies, let’s be chaste and discreet in our everyday living!

Teaching Younger Women To Love Their Children (Part 4)

In the previous blogs, we’ve gone through several different things that older women should be teaching younger women. We’ve covered areas that older women should be concerned about within their own lives and seeking to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. We’ve covered the difference between legalism and spiritual discipline. If you haven’t read that then it is important to do so because so many people have a concern that doing or saying anything is legalism. The Bible is very clear about legalism and true spiritual discipline. We’ve also covered the importance of wives loving their husbands. We must realize that loving our husbands (outside of loving God first) is our first area of ministry. If we are helping friends and doing things for others to the exclusion of our husbands then we are in SIN. There is no other way to look at it as our husband is our first and foremost ministry in all of life!

The second area of ministry is to our children. Not only are we responsible for loving our husbands (as well as being in submission to them) but we are responsible for loving our children. Our children are our second most important ministry in life. If people in the world are more important to you then your children, once again you would be in a position of sin because your priorities are wrong! Now, this doesn’t mean that we let them do whatever it is they want to do. God gave your children to you for a specific purpose and that is to teach and train them! When they are first born they are little heathens that have no knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ and it is YOUR responsibility to teach them what the Bible says daily. Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19; Psalm 78:4-6; Ephesians 6:4 are all very good verses to read on raising children. I want to look at Deut. 6:7 and 11:19 because these two verses tell us when to do it.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up…You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

God\'s way or My way

Whatever you are doing, you should be entwining God’s Word in your life. In so doing, you will entwine God’s Word within your children’s lives! You should be telling your children about God’s commands no matter what happens within your life, whether there is sadness and grief, happiness and joy, the daily grind of things, or just boring old life!

I’ve had many women tell me they love their children and yet they let their children do ANYTHING they want to do. This isn’t true love of the child! This is either laziness on the parents’ part or a lack of understanding true spiritual discipline. Any parent that truly loves their child will make sure that the child has boundaries and doesn’t just do ANYTHING they want to do. There is a need for boundaries in each of our lives and children are no different. In fact, children need and want boundaries deep down in their hearts. The child that has boundaries know the parent cares for them. The child that has NO boundaries doesn’t know if the parent cares or not because there is NO love shown.

So many times people talk about discipline as if that is the worst thing there is in the world. “Oh no!” they emphatically announce. “I would never make my child do anything they don’t want to do. They have their own choice to make and I let them do it.” Children LACK self-discipline so how do they know what they want? It’s time to start teaching your child what no means! Most parents are afraid to tell their children no because the “EXPERTS” say this ruins their self-esteem! Actually, not teaching your children what the word NO means ruins them completely! I also have a couple of posts about self-esteem on my blog and it tells what self-esteem is really about! It is contrary to Scripture and if you want to read it go HERE. When it comes to saying NO to your children it is important that they learn that no means, “Don’t ask again!” If your child hasn’t learned that then you have failed in your responsibility! Our responsibility as parents is to make sure that the ATTITUDE is correct. When the attitude is correct then the behaviour will be correct.

The other responsibility is to teach the children to be SERVANTS to other people. Impossible! you might be thinking to yourself. Make my child a servant is out of the question! I want better things for my children! I want them to be famous and loved by all! Well, if Jesus came to the earth to serve others and not to be served then we MUST follow HIS example. If we are to follow Christ’s example then it is important that we teach our children to follow His example. If you are a true believer in Christ and TRULY love your children then you will want them to grow up to be godly young ladies and godly young men. This means that you MUST teach them to be like Christ and that includes teaching them to be a SERVANT! What better way to do this then to give them chores around the house? What better way to do this then to teach them to serve other people with a joyful heart?

I know several books that cover this subject of training your children from a Biblical point of view and they do an excellent job. Here is a list of them:

Heart of Anger (foreward by John MacArthur) by Lou Priolo.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

Successful Christian Parenting by John MacArthur.

Let us keep in mind that we are ALL supposed to serve others with a joyful heart so let’s do it and love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. Then let’s love our neighbours as ourselves!

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