Teaching Younger Women To Love Their Children (Part 4)

In the previous blogs, we’ve gone through several different things that older women should be teaching younger women. We’ve covered areas that older women should be concerned about within their own lives and seeking to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. We’ve covered the difference between legalism and spiritual discipline. If you haven’t read that then it is important to do so because so many people have a concern that doing or saying anything is legalism. The Bible is very clear about legalism and true spiritual discipline. We’ve also covered the importance of wives loving their husbands. We must realize that loving our husbands (outside of loving God first) is our first area of ministry. If we are helping friends and doing things for others to the exclusion of our husbands then we are in SIN. There is no other way to look at it as our husband is our first and foremost ministry in all of life!

The second area of ministry is to our children. Not only are we responsible for loving our husbands (as well as being in submission to them) but we are responsible for loving our children. Our children are our second most important ministry in life. If people in the world are more important to you then your children, once again you would be in a position of sin because your priorities are wrong! Now, this doesn’t mean that we let them do whatever it is they want to do. God gave your children to you for a specific purpose and that is to teach and train them! When they are first born they are little heathens that have no knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ and it is YOUR responsibility to teach them what the Bible says daily. Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19; Psalm 78:4-6; Ephesians 6:4 are all very good verses to read on raising children. I want to look at Deut. 6:7 and 11:19 because these two verses tell us when to do it.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up…You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

God\'s way or My way

Whatever you are doing, you should be entwining God’s Word in your life. In so doing, you will entwine God’s Word within your children’s lives! You should be telling your children about God’s commands no matter what happens within your life, whether there is sadness and grief, happiness and joy, the daily grind of things, or just boring old life!

I’ve had many women tell me they love their children and yet they let their children do ANYTHING they want to do. This isn’t true love of the child! This is either laziness on the parents’ part or a lack of understanding true spiritual discipline. Any parent that truly loves their child will make sure that the child has boundaries and doesn’t just do ANYTHING they want to do. There is a need for boundaries in each of our lives and children are no different. In fact, children need and want boundaries deep down in their hearts. The child that has boundaries know the parent cares for them. The child that has NO boundaries doesn’t know if the parent cares or not because there is NO love shown.

So many times people talk about discipline as if that is the worst thing there is in the world. “Oh no!” they emphatically announce. “I would never make my child do anything they don’t want to do. They have their own choice to make and I let them do it.” Children LACK self-discipline so how do they know what they want? It’s time to start teaching your child what no means! Most parents are afraid to tell their children no because the “EXPERTS” say this ruins their self-esteem! Actually, not teaching your children what the word NO means ruins them completely! I also have a couple of posts about self-esteem on my blog and it tells what self-esteem is really about! It is contrary to Scripture and if you want to read it go HERE. When it comes to saying NO to your children it is important that they learn that no means, “Don’t ask again!” If your child hasn’t learned that then you have failed in your responsibility! Our responsibility as parents is to make sure that the ATTITUDE is correct. When the attitude is correct then the behaviour will be correct.

The other responsibility is to teach the children to be SERVANTS to other people. Impossible! you might be thinking to yourself. Make my child a servant is out of the question! I want better things for my children! I want them to be famous and loved by all! Well, if Jesus came to the earth to serve others and not to be served then we MUST follow HIS example. If we are to follow Christ’s example then it is important that we teach our children to follow His example. If you are a true believer in Christ and TRULY love your children then you will want them to grow up to be godly young ladies and godly young men. This means that you MUST teach them to be like Christ and that includes teaching them to be a SERVANT! What better way to do this then to give them chores around the house? What better way to do this then to teach them to serve other people with a joyful heart?

I know several books that cover this subject of training your children from a Biblical point of view and they do an excellent job. Here is a list of them:

Heart of Anger (foreward by John MacArthur) by Lou Priolo.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

Successful Christian Parenting by John MacArthur.

Let us keep in mind that we are ALL supposed to serve others with a joyful heart so let’s do it and love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. Then let’s love our neighbours as ourselves!

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4 responses to “Teaching Younger Women To Love Their Children (Part 4)

  1. How true! We just got Cable the other day and we have a feature called “on demand” where you can pull up shows that are saved in an archive for free. Anyway, I decided to pull up a show called “fussy eaters” as we are having issues with our almost 2 year old and his eating habits. I couldn’t believe this program. It was telling you to give your child choices and to basically let them pick whatever they wanted to eat to show them that they can be an adult. I wanted to scream at the TV. NO, NO, NO. This simple truth of not giving choices too soon has changed my parenting. Once I decided to make choices as the parent and not let them rule my house, the kids became happier. They argued with me ALOT less. And when I did give them a choice (after they proved they were responsible to have a choice), I got smiles and thank you’s and a grateful heart.

    I do believe we need to be diligent as parents. And I’m not old..I’m 30, but I have a sister in law that is 24 and has a child and I’ve been passing down to her things that have worked for me as a mom. Biblical truths that I’ve learned, I pass on to her too. Sometimes we can get caught up in thinking that we need to be mentored, but sometimes we have things, no matter how small, that we can pass on to people younger than us too. I know I’ve helped my sister in law even today. She took what I said into consideration and decided to be watchful of it. I didn’t do it thinking I know everything. I said things to her because they have helped me as I erred in my own parenting.

    A parenting course that has helped me is Growing Kids God’s Way. It has blessed me beyond measure and changed the way I parent in every way. I hope that helps others in some way! God bless!

  2. Also, I love those books you mentioned. I haven’t read the one by John MacArthur, but I have the other 2. They definitely are great parenting books. With so much information out there, its hard to know what to read, but I second your opinion on those two books.

  3. I know we have tried to teach our children to be very thankful with what’s placed in front of them. I remember one time one of our children came into the kitchen complaining because the food wasn’t what they wanted.

    My comment was, “Ok, what happened to, ‘Oh thank you, mom, you’ve done a great job on the food and I really enjoy it’?.” That child left the room and came back in (actually with a completely different attitude) and said, “Thanks for the food you cook regularly for us. I really appreciate it!” After that, all of our children made it a regularly habit to be thankful for the food. I thought it was pretty humourous the way that child came back in and had a completely changed attitude. All of us had a great laugh over it. In the end, if we had allowed our children to choose whatever I don’t believe we would have had that kind of response from them.

    I believe it’s so good to be able to share things with other people. It helps (hopefully) not only the person we are talking with but also ourselves. Whenever I disciple someone, the Lord uses what I say to them to speak to my heart. I know many times the Lord has convicted me of areas in my life as I’ve discipled.

    Thanks for the encouragement on the blog. Hope you have a great day! :-D

  4. Amen! Our children are grown and married now, but were instilled with God’s word to love the Lord their God with all their heart and soul and mind, and to love their neighbor as themselves, to be servants. When correcting down to the “attitude” the distinction between spiritual discipline and legalism is a hard one for “those who mean well” to differentiate and has caused much heartache and grief. BUT…God is good, all the time! and He uses ALL things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.
    Thanks so much for sharing.

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